Live as People of Light

If you are a regular follower of this blog, then you will notice a bit of a change for the next 8 weeks. I am serving as a table leader for an 8 week Freedom Workshop. If you'd like to follow along, you can find the resources at the link directly above. Also, I will post here, the daily Bible reading assignment (heartwork) so you can read along. This workshop has been a life changer for me so I'm eager to share it with others. May you be blessed!

BIBLE READING HEARTWORK
Week 2 - Day 7
Ephesians 5; Psalm 28

Ephesians 5:8-11

For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them.

Lord, help me to live like this! I do have light from you, the Holy Spirit and your word. Help me to live as a person of the light. I want my life to produce only what is good and right and true. I can carefully determine what pleases you as your Holy Spirit guides me in spending time with you getting to know you by reading your word relationally. Don't let me take part in the deeds of evil and darkness but instead, expose them.

Lord, I need your help today. Help me as I homeschool these kids. It's not easy dealing with teenagers, especially when one of them is an aspie. Please give me wisdom.

Lord, RoboBoy's new medication doesn't seem to be helping him. I'm not real sure what to do at this point. Do we increase his dose? I'm sensing the I need to call the doctor and apprise him of the situation. RoboBoy needs to be able to do his schoolwork and that is not happening right now. Lord, you know what the right balance of his medication is to allow him to get the sleep he needs and also be able to do his schoolwork. Please help us to find it. In Jesus' name, amen.

FREEDOM WORKSHOP VERSES

Romans 8:12-14

So, dear brothers and sisters you have no obligation whatsoever to do what your sinful nature urges you to do. For if you keep on following it, you will perish. But if through the power of the Holy Spirit, you turn from it and its evil deeds, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God.

Romans 8:12-14

Isaiah 1:18

"Come now, and let us reason together," says the Lord. "Though your sins are as scarlet, they will be white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, they will be like wool."

Isaiah 1:18

MEMORY VERSES

Assurance of Salvation

John 5:24

Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes in him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life.

John 5:24

Assurance of Salvation

Assurance of Salvation

1 John 5:13

I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.

1 John 5:13

Assurance of Salvation

It's NOT You, It's Me

It's hard to believe that we are already nearing the last days of summer! Or at least of summer vacation. Having survived the past week of VBS, Fashionista has begun her last week of 5-day clubs for the summer. I'm frantically trying to pull together lesson plans in preparation for the looming school year. I knew this summer was going to be a whirlwind but I did not expect it to take the kind of toll on me that it has.

It seems that especially lately I'm finding myself feeling more ASPIE than normal. (For an explanation of what Aspie is you may want to read my former post, Hi, I'm Dee and I have Asperger's Syndrome) I'm feeling like I just want to climb up into myself and shut the rest of the world out. Perhaps this is a result of being forced out of my house and into the presence of people all summer long, which is something that I find absolutely exhausting. I think this weekend was the first time all summer that I was allowed to stay home and not have to go anywhere.

I guess I'm feeling depleted of I'm not even sure what. Opportunities for inner contemplation? That thing that I have to tap into which allows me to be social despite how unnaturally that comes to me? Whatever it is, I'm feeling totally drained of it. Even talking on the phone is feeling like a gigantic chore to me. 

Hopefully, the cessation of 5-day clubs and getting back into a school routine which will not require me to be out of the house and around people so much will help my Aspieness to retreat. In the meantime, I'm sorry to all of you who have been feeling like I'm mad at you for some reason. Try to remember that it's not you, it's me.

How NOT to Handle a Meltdown!

If you have a child who has special needs requiring special education, you don't need me to tell you what a challenge it is. A normal day can very quickly morph into a migraine inducing afternoon long meltdown. Your child, not you! Ok, maybe you too. I had this happen recently with RoboBoy. He is 10 years old and has Asperger's Syndrome, also known as high functioning autism.

He is on medication for ADHD which also helps to control his aspie symptoms. He also takes melatonin at night to help him sleep. A very common issue with aspies is that they tend to be chronic insomniacs.

So our day started out as usual, with me insisting that he take his medication first thing. When I walked into the kitchen to make sure he'd taken it, I saw his pill bottle sitting with the lid still on it. Strange...usually he forgets to put the lid back on. I let it pass and went on with my busy day.

That morning I was making out chore charts. I presented each of my three children with their new charts and informed them that if I caught them playing video games or watching a show before ALL their school and chores were done, they would be grounded.

RoboBoy was being difficult about doing his schoolwork and the thought passed through my mind, “I wonder if he really did take his medication?” Then I turned from my work on the computer to find him playing a game on the other computer! He had done NONE of his schoolwork. I had no choice but to ground him.

This is where mom goofed up BIG TIME! RoboBoy begged me to unground him if he did his schoolwork, and I caved. So he did his schoolwork and then wanted to play on the TV, which his sister was occupying at that time. The arguing ensued and his meltdown began. I ended up having to ground him for fighting with his sister. Then I told him that I was wrong to unground him for doing his schoolwork. Poor kid! Mom was waffling all over the place!

In my defense, I also have Aspergers, and I was stressed due to all of this arguing and RoboBoy melting down. As you can tell, I don't deal well with it.

When bedtime finally rolled around, (none too soon for me!), RoboBoy came and told me that he had been “doing some thinking in bed” and realized that he accidentally took his melatonin that morning instead of his other medication. Well, that sure explained a lot!

The main thing I learned from this incident, is that mom needs to stick to her guns and not cave when the little darling tries to bargain away his punishment. It would have made my life much easier that day in spite of his having not taken the correct medication. He wouldn't have spent the rest of the day melting down and trying to get me to change my mind again.

Hi, I'm Dee and I have Asperger's Syndrome

I've known for several years that my youngest son has Asperger's (aka, high functioning autism and/or autism spectrum disorder). It took longer to realize that I have it too. My son goes to see a psychiatrist once every 3 months. His doctor has all but confirmed that I'm an Aspie too. I would of course have to make a separate appointment for myself to get an official diagnosis. Just don't see the need in that.

When I look back on my childhood I can see so many times when I've displayed the classic symptoms of an Aspie. My mother tells me that when I was a toddler I would hold my breath to get my way. She was afraid to let me do that until my pediatrician told her just to let me. He told her that I would simply pass out and start breathing again. Apparently she took his advice, because I don't remember ever doing this.

Aspies tend to have chronic insomnia. I can testify that my son has struggled with this for years. I've been an insomniac for as long as I can remember. My mother says that she used to put me down for naps and I would lay perfectly still for at least an hour or two and NEVER go to sleep. My sister on the other hand would be out if my mom could just get her to be still for a few minutes.

I've never felt socially adept. This has always been a struggle for me. I used to have a terrible time making eye contact with others. I've had to train myself to do this. I've even learned to read most social cues.

I remember one time when I was in middle school, I'm think. I was at some sort of class party that was being held at our local community center. Everyone was playing some sort of tag game that involved the boys catching the girls to give them a kiss. I went and hid in a closet and cried. I refused to come out when my friends came to find me. Now, keep in mind that these were all kids that I went to school with every day and had since 1st grade! Not only that, but we are only talking about some 10-15 kids who showed up for this event at the most. 

At the time I couldn't explain why I was acting the way I was. However, now I know that I was placed into a situation where all the social rules had totally changed. I felt completely out of place and overwhelmed. I had no clue what the social rules were in this situation so I pulled into myself and hid away. There have been numerous other similar examples of this in my life over the years. 

For years, I've tried to understand and explain to my hubby why when he comes up behind me and wants to love/hug on me, I stiffen and resist. Poor thing took this personally for a long time. I tried to explain to him that it has nothing to do with him, but I really didn't understand why I was doing it myself. Now that I know that I'm an Aspie, it makes total sense. Aspies tend to dislike physical affection of any kind. We really can't explain why this is, it just is. I have learned to overcome much of this tendency as well. 

I also have many sensory issues which is yet another Aspie tendency. I will often find myself tapping something because I like the way it sounds, or rubbing a particular surface because it feels nice (I can't resist rubbing the silky side of the ribbon in my Bible during church). Lately I've found myself making raspberries with my tongue just because it "feels good". Thankfully, I only do this at home and I'm trying to break myself of this habit before it becomes annoying to the rest of my family.


I'm sure that I could come up with lots more examples, but this is enough to convince ME that I'm indeed part of the Aspie club. I think it is harder for adults to recognize or get diagnosed with Aspergers. Depending on where we were on the spectrum, many of us learn to adjust and deal with our symptoms. If we were not diagnosed as children, we really had no choice. No one, including us, had any clue that we had a disorder and so we were expected to behave just like everyone else. This is often true for those who HAVE been diagnosed. There is still a whole world out there that has no idea what Aspergers is.


This knowledge has freed me up to have higher expectations of my son. I've been there and survived so I know he can too. Sure I make some allowances for his disorder, but I also keep in mind that he's going to HAVE to learn to adjust. The world is NOT going to adjust to suit him.