But Jacob did not send Benjamin, Joseph's brother, with the others, because he was afraid that harm might come to him. Genesis 42:4
But Jacob said, "My son will not go down there with you; his brother is dead and he is the only one left. If harm comes to him on the journey you are taking, you will bring my gray head down to the grave in sorrow." Genesis 42:38
Jacob was holding too tightly to his son Benjamin. He was not trusting that God would protect him.
Lord, long ago you taught me that my children all belong to you, not me. They are only mine on loan. When ManBoy was born, he had such a difficult birth and then he had to be in NICU for eight days.
When I was able to take him home I was a basket case, constantly worrying while he slept. I feared that he would stop breathing as he had a few times in the hospital. For my own sanity, I had to give him back to you, Lord. I had to get to a point where I knew that whether he lived or died, I would be ok, and that you would use it all for your greater purposes. That was not an easy place to get to and you've had to take me back there several times with all three kids through the years.
It's still not easy to say, "Lord, it's all yours; they're all yours. My kids, my husband, all of me and mine." It is only the trust I have that you always want to help me and build me up, not harm me, that allows me to be able to release all that I have and all that I am to you.
Thank you, Lord, for teaching me this and for reminding me of this hard lesson. Help me to never hold too tightly to anything that you have given me and you have given me all that I have!
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